Double Happiness

It was my 29th birthday on 29 January. Wow… 2007 is my last year being a twenty-something! Looking back, this decade has seen so many milestones in my life – graduation, flying as an SQ Girl, moving into market research, marriage, buying our first home and pregnancy… with Motherhood lurking just around the corner. Looking back, I’m glad the years of my twenties had been so colourful because at no other time can you just live your dreams without too much concerns. The twenties is truly the time you can just live for yourself, explore and experience life. It’s the time you start to earn your own keep, decide how to spend or save, experience different jobs and different lifestyles… without worrying that a wrong step would mean your family who depend on you would suffer. Everyone deserves to have their bit of fun during his twenties because after that, there’s a lot of responsibility that comes with parenthood – for those who opt to go the Family Way. And in retrospect, I had a great time during my twenties and will not live to regret as I move into the next chapter of my life where I will be forced to grow up quite quickly.

For my birthday this year, my friends and family have all been very considerate and pampered me with practical gifts. My parents and bro gave me angpaos, my colleagues gave me Tangs vouchers, Lydia gave me an angpao plus a luxurious showergal, Tim brought me on a shopping spree to buy about $200 worth of maternity clothes so I have some fitting clothes to wear finally. So when Jingyi and Ziyun asked me what I wish to have, I told them “Inouvi cosmetics”. Something self-indulgent, a want rather than a need, would be nice… Tim surprised me by giving me a maternity tee that I didn’t choose for myself. It’s a white tee with picture of a baby wearing a boxing glove, saying “WHO DARES TO CALL MUM FAT?” Yes, that’s my husband, the Funny Guy.

We went for our second detailed scan on the morning of my birthday. Babies are really active and keep kicking and changing positions. Ah-boy weights about 950g and ah-girl about 948g. Both are “huge for 25 weeks”, says my gynae. They still have plenty of amniotic fluid to move around and will only be in a more constrained position in the 34th week. That’s when we can tell whether natural birth is a possibility. Whether natural birth or c-section is safer for twin delivery is debatable because, as my gynae explained, even if both babies are in a heads-down position, once the first baby comes out, the environment inside the womb is different and baby no. 2 may slip to a position that is not possible for natural delivery. In this case an emergency c-section would be performed and all emergencies carry a higher risk than elected operations. While for singleton delivery, natural is safer, for multiple birth the risks are different.

The thing about c-section birth is that Tim can’t be in the operating theater with me and will miss the experience of being there when his kids come into this world. This is a great disadvantage of delivering in KK Hospital. We can opt for KKH’s “Premier package” and Tim will be able to be present. The delivery package is $600 more which is probably worth paying for so that Tim can be there to witness the once-in-a-lifetime moment and to be my morale support. The bigger problem with that is that you can’t downgrade to class C if the babies require NICU at birth (touch wood!!). The rate per baby per day is $480 for Premier compared to $95 for Class C.  Even Special Care Nursery differs a lot, $245 compared to $46. When you multiply it by two, the difference becomes quite substantial. Our Medisave certainly is not enough to cover it. I shall not worry about it right now, will wait till 34th week to make the arrangements.

Have been splurging a bit on maintenance the past couple of weeks. Well, after a while I have gotten tired of looking tired and I have decided that though I look like a whale, I don’t have to dress like a tired whale! In order to FEEL Good, I have to LOOK Good. Off I went for a haircut to get rid of my unruly hair, a mani/pedicure to feel groomed, and a shopping spree (with Tim in toll, trying his best to be patient) to buy maternity clothes that actually fit my 24 weeks, 39″ belly. Till now I have been squeezing into my old empire-cut blouses, or wearing hand-me-downs from friends and relatives. The problem with my old clothes is that there are only about 4 of them to rotate around and the problems with hand-me-downs is that they are not quite my style. In any case, they are all starting to fit too snugly now that I am huge like a full-term singleton mum. So off to every preggies’ favourite hunt, Suntec City, for the likes of Mothercare, Spring Maternity and Perfect Mum.

The baby kicks are getting stronger and stronger everyday. We can see the vibrations on the surface of my belly now. Yesterday they did a series of almost 10 consecutive strong kicks that really surprises us. Tim thinks they are karate kids and I think this is an indication that they will be hyperactive babies! I’ve noticed that their kicks are usually strongest at night when Tim and I are watching TV. They can be quite active around 3-5pm when I’m working in the office, but the most violent moves are reserved for at night to impress their papa. Good kids!

We went to our second prenatal class on Wed. Class started late and ended late which really pissed Tim off. We went through the different types of pain relief during labour - breathing technique (breathe in and pant, pant, pant, blow), relaxation (tightening and relaxing of muscles from face to legs, including pelvic floor), TENs (looks like a crap device), entonox (laughing gas – sounds exciting but may cause nausea or vomiting if too much is inhaled), injections of pethidine (lessen but doesn’t stop pain) and the life-saving epidural (the process of inserting the long needle into the spinal cord is nerve-wrecking to say the least). We shall discuss our options with Dr Tham on Monday.

On Thursday we met up with Helene, wife of Tim’s friend Benoit. Helene is a flight attendant with Air France and a mother of two really beautiful kids. She brought us gifts from Tim’s parents – 2 matching sets of baby rompers (I learnt that the French adoringly call the kids ‘little rabbits’), 2 sets of baby bips that says Lundi to Dimanche, a box of foie gras which expires in 2009 (Tim has to wait for me to eat it, ha!), a head massage truc which I have taken to wearing on my head so Tim can massage me anytime he happens to be next to me, and 3 books of children stories in French. Merci Evelyne, Jean!

On the public transport front, it’s been two weeks since I stopped taking Tim’s motorbike. Am getting used to the routine. In the morning I must get into the bus at least until the seating zone. If I’m stranded at the boarding zone where the bus driver sits, nobody can see me and so nobody will give me a seat. Best are the double-decker bus, I try to walk upstairs cos there tends to be legitimate empty seats so I don’t have to deprive someone of theirs. At night, I will wait till 8pm to jump into a cab – this saves me $2 peak-hour surcharge though it means going home later. On bad days when the back or belly discomfort is less bearable, I will just pay the $2 to go back early. So a budget of $25 a week is spent on cabs – that’s not too bad.

Our prenatal classes started yesterday evening with Mdm Wong Boh Boi at Thomson Medical Centre. She is a hilarious woman, quite auntie-like though the medical jargon she throws into her speech is a good reminder of her medical training. Her favourite phrase “Am I quite clear?” still rings in my head. What really threw Tim off was the fact that she’s super longwinded – obviously one who loves her own voice. Plus she’s also quite free with her self praise. But all in all, I like her humour (quirky as it is, at least the session’s not boring) and I sense her sincerity. I’m not sure Tim has the patience as her style is very much a Singaporean naggy auntie style.

There were certainly more than the allowed 23 couples in the room – some had come of their own accord after missing other sessions. Since everyone was first-time parents, we were all decently cordial to one another. The only awkward moment was when one man marched through the crowd, all seated in various levels of comfort on the floor, and exclaimed aggressively, “My wife needs a chair!” It’s like, AHEM, in a room full of pregnant women, does it make any sense that your pregnant wife deserves a chair while other preggies are very happy to be on the ground? Really.

The overcrowded condition means most people were not able to see Mdm Wong’s demonstration and will just follow the people around them. As the theory of Broken Telephone goes, towards the back of the class I bet everyone is doing it wrongly. Fortunately Tim had been early and was able to book a strategic spot so we were somewhat in the centre of things. However as we were all sitting on the floor, Tim’s inflexible knees means he either sits awkwardly or stands throughout the almost 3 hour session (look, in a standing-and bending position, he can barely grab his knees!). Now, I think My Husband Needs a Chair.

The focus of yesterday’s training was exercise and posture – how to get up from lying down and from a squatting position, breathing exercise to help with labour (deep breathe followed by panting – a hilarious exercise), arm/leg massages to reduce water retention (aided by husband), back roll to strengthen back (otherwise known as Meow position), hip roll to strengthen hips (otherwise known as Doggy wag), stomach stretch to help digestion (aided by husband), chest thrust to tone up breasts,… can’t recall the rest.

On the use of public transport – I have been taking the bus to work everyday since Monday and it’s taking a toll on my sanity. Singaporeans seem to be generally kind enough to give me a seat or perhaps are just too embarrassed not to (I am guilty of glaring at them until they stand up, or pretending to look weak). The journey is usually fine but it’s the waiting time that can be killing because sometimes there’s no place to sit at the bus stop or while waiting for the taxi. Being a Bag Lady, my daily handbag carries the usual umbrella, water bottle, hospital notes, medical records, daily supplements, makeup kit and sweets. It becomes a tangible load when you’re already burdened with a growing belly. My back aches just from standing stationary for too long.

During the rainy days, it was tough not to feel sorry for myself when I’m carrying my umbrella in the torrential showers, flagging desperately for taxis that always seem to be On Call. It’s at moments like this that my confidence in being able to live without a car falters, washed down by the rain. I think, surely I can do better for myself, surely (to quote L’Oreal) “I’m worth it”?? I have always pride myself on my prudence in spending but as I age, the thought of having to scrimp and save for the rest of my life is starting to depress me. Sigh… 

It was Tim’s birthday on 10 Jan. Sad to say my diminished braincells means that I clean forgot about it until 8 Jan and it was a mad rush to think of what to do on the day. Though he insisted that he didn’t need anything, I refuse to let the day pass by just like another day cos it’s a bad precedent to set and I know I will leave to regret it. In the end, I got a birthday cake (his favourite chocolate cake from Four Leaves), 3 books of GTO and Thai dinner. Nothing pricey or romantic, just stuff I know he’ll like. To my dismay, I later found out that his colleagues also got him THE SAME CHOCOLATE CAKE!! Sigh… But he likes the GTO, so the long walk to Bugis and back is worth it lah.

My boss has just informed me that the company would be granting me 4 months of paid maternity leave (instead of the standard 3)! I think my fast-growing belly has been noticed (everyone says I look like I’m at full term now though I’m only in my 6^th month) and my boss thinks I would need to go off early. Perhaps I will wane off work from April onwards. Another colleague was telling me that if my spine is too curved, the gynae may prescribe for me compulsory bed rest anyway so I get to keep all four months for after the birth! Anyway, Tim was saying that’ll be exploiting the generosity of my company, so we’ll see how as we go along. Anyway staying at home is quite unbearable for me – hours go by so slowly as I only eat, sleep and read all day. I honestly prefer to be in the office… if only I don’t have to travel to and fro! Maybe I could suggest working from home…

Today I move into the 22^nd week of my pregnancy and already my belly is bigger than my husband’s (check our “My Pregnancy Progress” to see evidence! Guaranteed to pop your eye). I am also at the heaviest I have EVER been my entire life, moving past the 65kg threshold.

Have been down with flu since last Friday. This is the second time I’m sick while pregnant and this time it’s a lot worse because I’ve already grown much bigger. At this size, it is hard to find a good position to sleep and each twist and turn requires effort. Toilet visits are also more often (2-3 times a night). Add in the fever + blocked nose + sore throat and night time becomes just unbearable. I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn’t fall asleep till 6.30am. It helped that Tim and I had just gone to the library and I had borrowed 6 mystery books so I was at least occupied.

Another concern of mine over the weekend is the usage of nifedipine which reduces risk of preterm birth but is unfortunately causing me bad headaches and fast heartbeats (120 per minute!). I did a search online and read that it is a “calcium blocker”! Does that means my babies will come out with weak bones and teeth? Osteoporosis at birth seems so cruel.

Argh…. it seems that I should opt for weekly jabs of progesterone instead. My GP, Dr Sen, suggests that I get the medication from KK Hospital and get my GP to inject for me so that I don’t have to make weekly trips to the hospital. Will check that with Dr Benjamin Tham. The sad thing is… I also read that progesterone jabs have side effects of mood swings and weight gain – aiyoh, as if I dun already have enough of these!!! Also, I read that progesterone is not proven to be beneficial for reducing chances of preterm birth for multiples – only for singletons the jabs are shown to reduce preterm birth by 33%. Apparently there’s not enough empirical evidences for multiples yet. Sigh… Dr Sen is right – sometimes it’s better not to read too much info online and drive ourselves crazy… 

Well, one small piece of good news is that Tim, future daddy, has finally managed to feel the Magical First Kick from Baby Boy on 4 Jan! We figure it’s ah-boy’s kick because of the location – bottom left of the belly. Subsequently, whenever I felt the babies kicking up a storm, I would get Tim to place his hand on my belly but when he did that, they quietened down. Poor Tim was sorely disappointed. I’m concerned that I seldom feel kicks on my right side (ah-girl seems to be a quiet one), will raise this with Dr Tham next time I see him.

That’s all the update for now…

On 27 Dec, the Gang had a post-X’mas cum Farewell-to-Ziyun party at my place. Yen cheerfully took on the task of food supplier, driving to buy roasted chicken, pork ribs, bacon, salad, spaghetti, X’mas cake and drinks, all with little Chloe in tow! It was only when the party ended around midnight did she reveal that she was actually having a fever that day… What Tough Gal our Yen is!

Thanks to Yen, Derek, Lydia and Tim (while Ziyun and I were tasked with taking care of Chloe), an impressive dinner was ready by 8.30pm. I think all of us were too famished by then to take any photos of the dinner spread. Dinner was soon followed by the usual chit chatting. We even caught Tim learning the ropes of fatherhood from Derek!

When Tim brought out his Dance Dance Revolution mat, the night reached a new high. Tim impressed everyone with how agile he was despite that 110kg frame. Derek, after watching by quietly for a while, was pushed to try out by Yen and impressed us all with his neat footwork. Meanwhile all is not lost for the gals – Lydia was easily the best of the gals with her good sense of rhythm and composed foot movements; Meiying put up a good show after getting used to the rhythm while Yen put up a good show by jumping everywhere except where she was supposed to! Many a times she looked like she was going to topple over and flatten slender Ziyun sitting behind her. Oh Ziyun…she was keen to try out as well but alas, Dr Tan you should not quit your day job… =)

The night ended on a high note with photo taking and everyone wishing the night can last longer. Well, there will certainly be next time soon as Huijun will be back in Feb and Ziyun in Jun. Looking forward the next big outing!

PS: Thanks Lydia for supplying the photos!

X’mas 2006 was the 7th X’mas I spent with Tim, and a very significant one because it would be the last X’mas that we spent just as a couple. Come X’mas 2007, it will be a much more crowded affair with Mummy, Daddy, Bro, Sis and the 3 Cats. It so happened that my usual gang of friends were all tied up with their own celebrations and Tim and I ended up having X’mas just the two of us.

We decided to have a raclette dinner. It’s a winter French dish using a special raclette machine which Tim’s parents had bought in France as a gift for us. Basically this machine has two layers of heating device – the upper layer is a hot plate upon which you fry your salami, bacon, ham or any other meat and the bottom layer is used to melt cheese which you spread over your potatoes and/or meat. Yummy! Here’s our X’mas Spread –

We had gone shopping for the ingredients on 23 Dec at Carrefour and gosh, we spent about S$70 on this raclett dinner alone! We could have opted for a romantic dinner at some fancy restaurant instead with this money… However, it seems that we had grossly overestimated how much it takes to fill our bellies (big as they are). The amount we bought was sufficient for 2 dinners for each of us! For the record, the right amount per person should be 2-3 potatoes, 100-150g raclette cheese, 30-50g of salami (not too thin), 1-2 slices of ham, 2-4 slices of bacon. C’est tout!

Here’s a picture of us at the dinner table – it is upon looking at this picture that I realized, to my aghast, how much weight around the face I have put on! I look just like my overweight teenage self at age 18. Arghhhh….! No wonder my husband called me Hamtaro the other night… (“My lado, do you think that pregnant women look like hamsters?”) I guess I’m not one of those lucky mummies who is “all belly”. For me it’s All Big, Everywhere.

Today is the New Year and what better way to start the year than to commence work on a few of the New Year Resolutions on my list? Today I’m joining the cyber world of blogs! Actually, ‘to start a blog’ is not quite exactly on my New Year Resolution list but if it works out the way I planned, this should help to check off two of them, namely 1) to Get Off that Lazy Butt of Mine and 2) to Make Meaning out of day-to-day life so there’s Something to Reflect on later.

After much pooh-poohing at what I personally felt to be a narcissistic form of mass communication (my colleague Debbie can bear witness to my tirade against blogs), I have to swallow what I said and admit the brilliance of such a communication device. Afterall, what more meaningful than to note down your occasional thoughts (for future reference… Alzheimer hits the best of us, as does Absentmindedness) and to share them (with close friends whom you don’t touch base with often enough and your future acquaintances, like your children, who are not yet part of your life)?

So here I am, with assistance from my live-in IT Support aka Tim my Husband, starting on this journey of documentation. If this works out, I am on my way to being a slightly less lazy person who bothers to reflect on life, record them down and share them with those who matter.